I wish to apologize…

Because I’m being a moron over here, and maybe I’m making you uncomfortable by how I’m acting right now.  I probably am.

I might be asking too much of you, but I hope you can cut me some slack.  Why, you ask?  Well, frankly, I’ve been out of the “game” (I don’t exactly want to use this term but this is the only common term I know) for more than 3 years already.  I just recently got back in.  So I don’t really know how to act anymore, how to approach this, etc.  I mean, just 2 days ago, I got scolded by my friends when I told them I wanted to do something that involves you.  They said it was too early for me to do that thing I was thinking about (get your damn minds out of the gutter, people, puhleez!).  What they said made sense, so forget that for now.  But I still want to do something.

Right now, I guess I just want to get to know you more.  A LOT more.  And despite my clumsy, heavy-handed attempts to do so, I hope you still give me that opportunity.  Kick my ass later if you get tired of my pathetic attempts, I won’t mind.  At least you gave me the chance, which I will appreciate for the rest of my life, no matter how long/short it might be. 

Lord, seriously, if you’re trying to teach me patience, can’t you find some other way to do it?  Please? 

On an unrelated note, I just discovered something.  And I’m still wondering how I should feel about a person getting crap from other people.  That person may deserve it, because of certain decisions made, but still… Am I supposed to enjoy that crap is happening to that person now?  On the other hand, shouldn’t I enjoy that crap is happening to that person now because well, that person fucked up?

Agh.  Why do I even care in the bloody first place?  I’m not supposed to!